Gene For Left-Handedness Found
This just in to the GIGIG Good News/Bad News desk from the BBC…
“Scientists have discovered the first gene which appears to increase the odds of being left-handed.
The Oxford University-led team believe carrying the gene may also slightly raise the risk of developing psychotic mental illness such as schizophrenia.”
Uh-oh.
The good doctors don’t want us “lefties” to be alarmed, however. One even said “I don’t think left-handed people should be alarmed.” Easy for him. Like Inigo Montoya and Wesley in “The Princess Bride,” he’s probably not left-handed. Another added, “It is probably a combination of factors, including genetics, problems in childbirth, viral infections, drug use, poverty and urbanization.” Sure, we see the connection. Especially all of that urbanization.
I’m not sure what to think. Maybe I’ll ask that little voice in my head.
Read the whole article here. And don’t miss the compelling accompanying photo.
Get It? Got It. Good. 
It’s true. Genocidal dictators, serial killers, Hollywood actors, New York Times reporters … all left handed.
We used to be stigmatized because left hands were unhygienic (if you don’t know that story, don’t ask). Now modern science has cleared it up. We’re actually crazy. At least we can blame it on a birth defect!
At this moment, the Right Hand Caucus in Washington is drafting legislation to fund experimental gene therapies and establish left-handed wards in state mental institutions.
I’m blaming my issues on urbanization. My little voice blames you.
How did he find out? I thought I had managed to keep my involvement secret.
I don’t know. The little voice doesn’t take questions from the audience.
Oh my gosh, another study on left handers – done by, wait a minute, wait a minute, yes! a bunch of right handed scientists. They just don’t like us, those right handers, they have been trying to burn us at the stake for some time now, anyone notice? Good Lord, I wondered why I was crazy, well now I know. Phew! thanks guys! Say, lets all of us left handed people get together and do a study on right handed people. I would like to know what gene makes them right handed, why there are so many right handed people in mental institutions, why there are so many serial killer right handed people, why so many right handed people don’t succeed in various careers, the suicide rates of right-handed people, how many right handed people are un-employed, how many right handed people cheat on their wives, why right handed people’s sex lives are unsatisfactory! get it, right handed scientists, get it? If we looked hard enough, as you seem to have been doing for the past 2,000 or more years, we would certainly find something to stick you with. So cut the —- ! What a load of nonsense. Have to go now, those voices in my head are telling me I have a house to clean. Why that’s just crazy! Look out for me!
How can you tell if all of your voices are left-handed? Just wondering.